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How to make her want you: 7 Psychological Methods + 11 Gestures


If you are searching for ways to how to make her want you but you believe in determinism, then that’s a bitch.

If true it renders us outside the control of our actions. Therefore, we cannot have free will.

Without free will, whether you believe the woman of your dreams has firmly settled on not liking you so to speak, is neither here nor there.

You then have to figure out what actions to deploy to help guide her to like you, where she will feel that those are her choices, which they are, or not, depending on your view of determinism. Perhaps life’s just an orchestra of the two.

Feels like that sketch in the gas station in No Country for Old Men.


How to make her want you: 7 Psychological influencers to steer her towards you

Well, thus comes the tricky bit, but it’s doable.

Here are 7 ways then that can influence the love of your life’s choices in a positive reflection, that can tip her into thinking: “you know what, why not give this guy a try”.


1. Eyes & lips

It is said that looking into that special someone’s eyes and lips while you are engaged in talking with them, may give off a signal that you see her and understand her more wholly.

You might find you do this anyway. One childhood sweetheart of mine I met in London in our 20’s, maybe 10 years after seeing Twins together both aged 13, had the most watery hypnotizing eyes, and it was summer, she had applied a beautifully scented lip gloss, I was magnetized.

Nothing came of our reunion but I remember that feeling.

This gives of a signal of being more than platonically interested in someone. But you don’t need to be told this if you are infatuated with someone.

Even if you are mildly besotted you will find yourself looking into them as a person, not at them, and from her point of view this will kindle her curiosity. It has an auto responsive effect of feeling being seen within. A warming impression.


2. Talk about something which had a positive impact on you

This might be a track or a film, something that happened recently in your life, a hilarious moment, but a positive one and one that you wished she could have been there for or that she will love.

Movies are generally safe bets.

They’ll create a hidden link between you and her. Almost a reminder so that when she goes to watch it or thinks of it, you will most likely be attached to that thought process, in a homely way.

You could almost display any talent you have subtly, mimicking that actor or breaking into song!

A potential precursor in learning how to make her want you overtime.

3. Mingling indirectly with eye contact

One technique is that while you are socializing in her surroundings, don’t go directly to her but float around in conversation with others while exchanging not too many, but more than the regular glance with her.

This will arouse her intrigue and help steer her to become attracted to you. She will know that you want to be with her and it will create a desire in her mind and hopefully save you a few hard yards.

4. Put time & thought into preparing your date

If you’ve got to the stage where you’re about to transcend from the platonic into something more, take a moment preparing a special time with them in a subtle manner.

Summertime picnics in the park or a wintery dog walk with hot toddy and maybe an extra scarf or shoal that you bring along just in case, immediately tells her you care.

You can of course introduce a fun sex game a little later if you need help breaking the ice here.

5. Compliment

It goes without saying but if you are genuinely keen on someone, then commenting on them or their appearance in a warm positive light will come naturally.

Her hair, her nails, her little idiosyncrasies, how her eyes remind you of a deer, standing there with a calm, gentle, playful stare. That might work!

Lines like: I always learn so much from you; I trust you implicitly; you’re special; you look fab, I love your dress; I love spending time with you.

6. A touch that will leave her enamoured

Often the simplest of actions like a touch may leave your potential partner of your dreams utterly smitten, and exacting this very feeling may instigate her desire  to want you. 

The tenderest of touches on her arm or the arc of her shoulder when the time is right that is just in the passing of the moment, which on reflection may seem almost like an apparition, can leave a glowing, passionate impression.

Even a little nudge when you spot something which she may find amusing, may be reciprocated further down the line, displaying a comfortableness on her part.

7. Body language

How you behave physically in her surroundings, are all captured moments of time that will deliver unconscious signals, whether negative or positive to your sweetheart to be.

Positive interaction through talking and laughing will help strengthen the bond you are building together.

Always try to be true to yourself and your body language will follow suit in the right fashion.

Immediately you try to defer a comment through changing the subject, avoidance or hesitancy, your body will again take on this negative reaction and transmit that to your detriment.

Should sticky questions begin to arise, take a considered breath, so as to keep your calm and try and deliver your answer as truthfully as possible.

Say for example you have reignited a relationship with the girl of your childhood dreams but you are currently in a relationship and in order progress you want to create as few ripples as possible, you might find yourself dragging out the process, to which your new partner might suggest that this is happening because you are stalling for this very reason.

Accept that and try to work through it with her in a calm manner. Openness will breed trust in all these scenarios, and how you choose your body language so to speak can help here:


11 Do’s & Don’ts

1. Don’t stand head on stand side on: It’s less confronting and abrasive. With side on you are lending your ear but at the same time offering space.

2. Good posture: train yourself if it doesn’t come naturally to maintain a strong and confident body posture. Lift your chest, relax your shoulders and hold your head high.

3. Unshield: don’t cross your arms or hold a drink in front of you.

4. Make sure your face and body say the same thing: pay attention to what your body is doing from the neck down. Turn to the girl you are flirting with by simply turning your shoulders to face her.

5. Wear a watch but don’t check it: this can cause urgency and may make her more keen to stay but this is highly unlikely and could backfire.

Only carried out with a sense of where are we off to next, not the implication of boredom may be a fine line to tread.

Additionally however, wearing a nice watch can be very attractive in a man while it also implies a level of sophistication and success. Women subconsciously make an association between guys with nice watches and success.

6. Walk tall and confident and at a good pace: From a female perspective it is said to imply that you’re a winner.

7. Enunciate, don’t mumble: not strictly body language but if you picture someone mumbling, you may envisage an image of stooping, a lack of confidence and success. This connotation whether true or not can stick subconsciously.

8. Smile: if you want a girl to smile at you, you must firstly smile at her. These are tricks that are generally innate in us as we navigate our way through society but when it comes to a special date, our nerves can get the better of us.

Unstained teeth obviously go without saying if you want to maximize your odds.

9. Show your hands: it literally and figuratively demonstrates you have nothing to hide and instils a comfortability on her part.

10. Eye contact: mentioned above this is key but also on first glance, hold a strong eye contact but then turn away just before she does, it is said to create intrigue.

11. Mirror her: by at times mimicking her movements, you unconsciously build familiarity which again makes her feel more comfortable around you.

It’s actually something you’ll probably do naturally but on a nervy first meet, you may be a little awkward.

Organic mirroring would be you crossing your leg shortly after she crossed hers, or touching your hair as she had hers.