If you are experiencing difficulty arousing yourself, then aside from the best packers or the most comfortable binders to help with the optics, when it comes to dealing with pleasure dysphoria, here are a few tips and tricks from learned piers that should help you overcome this obstacle, teaching you how to experience pleasure with the wrong organ.
While the most common characterisations for someone who is transgender is someone who doesn’t associate themselves with their birth gender, so a transboy or transman therefore would be someone born with a vulva, marked as female on their birth certificate, who identifies as a male and a transgirl or transwoman would be someone born with a penis, registered as male but who identifies as female – such definitions are not binary.
The best way to understand what being transgender is like is essentially to talk with transgender people and just listen. Many people who feel they aren’t entirely male or entirely female will describe their gender identity as non-binary or genderqueer.
Transgender dysphoria therefore refers to the sense of unease and conflict a person may have with their biological self and their self.
So how does one faced with this dysphoria experience the joys masturbation and sex?
How to experience pleasure with the wrong organ?
For those who have transitioned from female to male biologically through the construction of a penis or neo-penis through a metoidioplasty or phalloplasty, evidence from a 2005 study suggests those who chose gender-affirming surgery, 80% reported an improvement of their sexuality so post biological transition does suggest an “Improvement in Sexuality”
An “improvement of their sexuality” is a broad sweeping term however and one worth breaking down into bullets briefly. To clarify, their “improvements” are adjudged in contrast to results recorded from the 27 male and 23 female participants.
These improvements in Transmen included:
♦ More frequent masturbation
♦ Increased sexual satisfaction (no individual examples are given)
♦ Increase in sexual excitement
♦ Ability to reach orgasms more easily than before surgery
♦ A propensity to experience more powerful and shorter climaxes
Alternatively, transmen who’d had penile implants in order to obtain erections experienced pain more frequently during sex than those without.
On the flip side however, those with implants reported their sexual expectations were more fully realized than those without.
In 2018 another study of participants who had undergone gender-affirming types of surgery, reported “satisfaction” with their surgical results, with the variance dependent on the type of surgery, the person’s health, and other factors. A very loose stat, given again its broadness in meaning but one worth noting.
In contrast complication rates in the urinary health of people who underwent this type of surgery were relatively high.
Thus working with a qualified plastic surgeon, urologist, gynaecologist and mental health professional if you can afford all these angles, improvement should be a given.
Transmen, whether they have undergone surgery or not will each have individual stories on how they began to tackle their own dichotomy.
How do Transmen Experience Pleasure with the Wrong Organ? What the forums say:
Browsing through what transmen have to say on the matter, where pleasurable masturbation pre-biological transition is proving unattainable, they offer the following insights.
1. Begin with non-gender body parts
This is one way to begin this exploration. Beginning with the mouth and anus, two less dysphoric areas are where personal accounts intertwine.
Evidence suggests transmen experience a high dysphoria when they are touched around their top region.
Sex with another man has also been described as unbearable due to feeling less masculine in comparison, so in this regard, some transmen suggest piercing their nipples for added stimulation while abstaining from intercourse for the foreseeable.
The the neck, buttocks, hands and feet are also areas where sexual comfort can be explored.
2. Try Tribbing
No, not dribbling.
Derived from the noun Tribadism, it’s a form of sexual activity whereby a women’s genitals are stimulated by riding her partners leg or elsewhere, or if alone as most are in masturbatory times – a pillow.
3. Get a strap-on penis
Unexpectedly, sales in strap-on penises account for the lions share in revenue of a number of sex doll/love doll manufacturers this last year.
As they can made bespoke so to speak, transmen advise stroking the penis with one hand while feeling your privates with the other.
Most sex toy manufacturers are now catering for this interest in the transgender communities. Strap-on flaccid penises being most in demand.
4. Stay focused on your fantasies
Touching “it” some argue should be a non issue most of the time, with exception of moments where you feel more self aware. Imagine penetrating your girlfriend from behind or that she’s riding you.
5. Stay off the hormone blockers
While they maybe assisting you in your physical transition, they kill your libido.
6. Don’t worry about how you feel between your legs
An orgasm’s an orgasm one commenter wrote, although if it is true that women can experience multiple orgasms one after another exceptionally fast, then transitioning biologically may impair that?
7. Naming of body parts in your mind
Genitals after all are pretty much the same things deep down. A man and women may in fact pleasure themselves in a similar fashion, staying on the outside of the body and rubbing the clitoris much the same way a man will lay back the penis on his belly and massage the under-side of the head with some loose discharge or better still, some lube or oil.
Naming your body parts through some dirty talk can help alleviate the burden of experiencing pleasure with the wrong organ.
Food for thought
If you can find a way around your dysphoria, it is not affirming that you no longer have dysphoria”, it does not make you a hypocrite.
You may still feel dysphoria looking at your bum or when you remove your bra.
That said it’s not mandatory to have dysphoria to be trans. The two are not inseparable.