How to Make Homemade Dildo – 7 Methods + 20 Emergency Shafts!

It’s homemade dildo time!

Like DIY vagina’s and household cockrings, there will be many consolador’s hiding in plain sight. You may even be eyeing one up right now. So keep your purse in your pochette and let’s go exploring. And definitely bring some (homebrewed) lube – watery of course, to the party.

Important: always where a condom for safety’s sake. They’ll help with gliding too.

20 Emergency Household Dildo’s

1. Banana
2. Courgette/zucchini
3. Corn on the cob
4. Cucumber
5. Yam
6. Carrot
7. Asian eggplant
8. Gourd
9. Marrow
10. Hairbrush handle
11. Electric toothbrush
12. Screwdriver handle
13. Hungarian salami
14. Wooden body massager
15. Silicone spatula
16. Sharpie marker
17. Curling iron
18. Lint roller handle
19. Ice lolly (clocks ticking)
20. Plastic spiral cartridge container

How to make a homemade Dildo – 7 methods

Method 1 – Candle + condom

Some candles come tapered which are perfect for inserting. Just no tealight candles as they might vanish or pyrotechnic Roman ones.

What you’ll need

• right size wax candle (wax, common, Chanukah, garden blackout)
• condom
• lube

Making a candle/condom vibrator

1. So you have your desired candle length. How’s the end, does it need shaping still?
   Well, slip the a condom over the candle.
2. Lube up.
3. And you’re good to go.
   Obviously start narrow if this is new to you. 

 

Method 2 – Tree limb

You could coat a tree limb in polyurethane, give it a week to set and you’ll then have your own homemade non-porous dildo.

What you’ll need

• handsaw
• plastic wrap/polyurethane
• tough sharp knife
• sanding paper
• tree branch
• condom

Making a tree limb vibrator

1. Back from the woods, you’ll have crafted your new piece of pleasure timber. Make sure the end has been sanded or is softly rounded and is free from any splinters.
2. Wrap it in kitchen plastic. Don’t be frugal. 
3. Pop a Johnny on, oil up with an H20 lube and see you later!

Simply unscrew the top, whip out the sleeve and remove the bullet vibrator which pounds the head.

 

Method 3 – (Raw) banana

Banana’s hard-to-beat G-spot curve reigns supreme for many as their go-to household dildo.

What you’ll need

• (raw) green banana
• condom
• lube

Making a raw banana dildo

1. The advantage of using raw green bananas, apart from their rigidity, is that you can peel them and still use them, making their performance even more polished
   Unfurl your tender banana and slip your sheath on.
2. Oil up.
3. You can make others eat it after.

 

Method 4 – Heated cucumber

Heated cucumbers, peeled, can be heaven at the right temperature.

What you’ll need

• cucumber
• peeler
• microwave/heating device
• condom
• optional – clingfilm

Making a heated cucumber dildo

1. So first you fashion your new peeled cucumber into the shape you relish.
2. Stick it in the microwave for 20 seconds and if it need a little more, then by all means give it a blast, but no more than a further 20.
3. You’ll need a long protective rubber or you can wrap it in plastic/clingfilm which some prefer as this traps the heat for longer!
4. Lubey-doob up and hey Geronimo!

 

Method 5 – Toilet paper

Making a wet paper dildo might sound like a mushy affair, but jammed packed into a durex, sculpted to your measurements and tied up, it gets rave reviews.

What you’ll need

• toilet paper
• water
• strong string
• condom

Making a wet paper dildo

1. Wet the toilet paper and smush it onto a condom.
   Make it as wide or slim as you’d like.
2. Tie the end of the condom securely so there’s no leakage.
3. Lube up and voila!

 

Method 6 – Gelatin

Made from pigs, yikes, Gelatin or Gelatine as some spell, turn a from a liquid into a gel in 5 to 10 minutes. Add more water to make it thicker.

Your time is limited though as it will heat up and soften while your work away, however it can be remoulded after use as it then starts to harden again.

What you’ll need

• 2 boxes of unflavoured gelatin
• stove/heating device
• condom
• string
• big bowl of cold water

Making a Gelatin dildo

1. Empty 2 boxes of gelatine into a saucepan and heat slowly.
   Careful – it will need to really heat up for it to thicken as your stir briskly.
2. Carefully pour the hot solidifying gel into a condom,  working out all the air bubbles as you do. 
3. Tie it up securely.
4. Then blanch it so to speak. Drop it in very cold water and watch your new molded shape turn hard.
5. Condoms are penis shaped so it automatically forms a cumbered head.
   You could try forcing it into a tubular shaped object like a pool noodle, as you would building a DIY vagina, or a PVC pipe.
6. Lube up and that’s it, plus you can wash it off and keep if it for later, .. maybe.

 

Method 7 – Expanding foam

There are numerous ways of deploying expanding foam to make a dildo, but here two popular ways are discussed.

What you’ll need

• expanding foam
• optional – 2 inner toilet rolls + tape
• 2/3 condoms
• pin
• cardboard box
• soft sandpaper

Making an expanding foam dildo

1. Either fill a condom full of expanding foam or tape two inner toilet roll tubes together, place them together, place them in the condom and then add the foam, this way you have outer walls.
2. If you choose the first method, then with a pin, prick the air holes that bubble out on the side of the condom and then tie its end up and place in in a cardboard box, as the foam will spill out and run everywhere.
3. If you’ve opted for the toilet roll then place another condom over the open end and let it fill out and expand for 24hrs.
4. Gently remove the sheath from the foam/toilet roll concoction the following day  – you may need a blade to pry away at some patches, sand it down, place a new condom over it, oil up and you’re off.
5. Same applies to the first method, remove the condom and just shave off all the sprouts that have hardened overnight, and it, place a second condom over your new homemade foamy dildo.